Have you ever read a scene in a book where the characters are eating, and the way the author describes the meal is so mouth-watering you get hungry on the spot and just have to go have some of whatever it is they’re chowing down on? Even if you don’t like it in real life? I think we all have. Not to mention that so much of the food found in fantasy can heal you or grant you magic powers. Delicious in so many ways.
To that end, here are ten mouth watering dishes from fantasy that everyone wishes really existed.
10. Magic Milk
In Fablehaven, the characters are able to see and interact with the magical world by way of the milk from a giant mystic cow. Only by drinking her milk can they see the fairies and other magical creatures of the preserve for what they really are. It gets made into some scrumptious cocoa too.
Magical milk that gives you the ability to see fairies and other magic? Yes, we all want this to exist. Step aside Folgers. The best part of waking up is magic cocoa in your cup.
9. Honey Cakes and Wine Punch
These delicacies are mentioned often in the Wheel of Time series, particularly when there are nobility involved in the scene. Both are mouthwatering in their descriptions and whenever they pop up you can’t help but get hungry. You can feel the savory-sweet burn of wine punch as it washes down your throat to warm your belly. The warm, smooth, melt in your mouth goodness of honey cakes is the perfect compliment to this drink, and there would be few desserts more pleasant in the real world than these delectable delicacies.
8. Bonnie Blues
When Ben Holiday purchases the magical kingdom of Landover, he discovers much more than the very thing he’s needed to fill the gaping hole in his empty life. He also discovers a free and abundant food source in the form of the Bonnie Blues. These mystic trees have leaves that taste like fruit and the branches are filled with milk. Bonnie Blues grow in abundance in all corners of Landover, meaning that no weary traveler is ever without sustenance in Ben Holiday’s domain. It’s a good thing corporate food empires on earth don’t know about them or there would probably be a private army marching on Landover to rip them all up and bring them back home. Edgewood Dirk and The Paladin would really have their work cut out for them.
7. Fish Soup
I’ve written about the Year of Rogue Dragons series before, but seriously, the fish soup they eat in the first book is worth bringing it up again. The heroes get caught in a coastal town and rely on the generosity of the locals until they can get their bearings. I had never tried fish soup before reading this book, but I spent days jonesing for some spicy fish soup after reading this scene. Trust me, read this book and you’ll want nothing more than a warm belly full of this oh so delicious sword coast staple.
6. Butterbeer
Butterbeer is something of an enigma in the Harry Potter universe. We’re never entirely sure exactly what it is, other than it’s a drink that magical kids in England love. One thing is never in doubt though; butterbeer is frothy and delicious. How many people can say they wouldn’t love to sit down at the end of a long day and wash their cares away with a bubbly and delicious butterbeer, foam mustache on glorious display? Answer; zero. Zero people can say they wouldn’t love that.
5. Warrior Feast of the Mud People
The Mud People of the west lands have a custom that seems quite terrible to many outsiders. After a successful victory they eat the flesh of their enemy to gain knowledge to help them in battle. While this is rather unnerving to think about, you can’t deny such a talent would be rather useful. Maybe a voodoo thing would suffice if you ate some hair from your enemy?
4. Elven Lembas Bread
Come on, you all knew this one was going to be on here. Of all the magical fantasy foods perhaps none is more famous than the Lembas bread. One small bite can fill a man’s stomach for a full day, or a Hobbit’s stomach for about 15 minutes. Can you imagine how small the modern grocery bill would be if this actually existed? Small. Super, super small. Coupon clippers and doomsday preppers everywhere would rejoice.
3. McAnally’s Steak Sandwich and Lemonade
The pub owner McAnally is famed in Chicago for his steak sandwiches, and signature lemonade. The key to the lemonade, we eventually learn, is lemon juice in the ice cubes to prevent the ice from watering the lemonade down. While there’s nothing inherently magic about the sandwich or drink, as our own Harry Dresden can confirm, one cannot read a description of either without salivating and developing an intense craving for delicious pub food. I hope someday Jim Butcher will release the recipe for this amazing sandwich so we can all make one for your own.
2. Soulcasted Food
If you thought Lembas bread was good, Soulcasters have the elves beat in the resource stretching department. Hungry? Boom. There’s some tacos. Starving in the wilderness? Poof! Here’s some crab legs. Need to feed an army? No problem. No more hungry homeless. No more children going without lunch in the public schools. Soulcasters could have a real opportunity to do some good in our world, so of course we’d want this to be real.
1. Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans
Ah, every flavor… literally. Even the most horrifying flavors imaginable. Why do we want these to exist? I think the answer is pretty obvious. Best prank food ever. Ever! Unlike some of the characters in the books we in the real world know we can break off a small piece just to figure out what the flavor is and then feed it to the whomever you please. Be that person yourself, or your worst enemy. I’m surprised the Weasley twins didn’t try to go into business with Bertie to tap into the muggle market for some kind of candid camera escapades. “Muggle’s Try Berties” could be the hottest wizarding YouTube channel, if wizards had YouTube that is.
Did I miss any great foods from fantasy novels? What is the best fictional food you wish was real? Discuss in the comments!
