There is a rather irksome fact of life when you’re a fiction writer: sometimes, you will have to write scenes that make you uncomfortable.
Let me be clear: I’m NOT saying writers need to be willing to craft scenes they find morally or ethically objectionable, far from it. But not every moment that makes it into a story is something we’re just dying to put down on paper, either.
Whether it’s the characters doing something you would never do yourself, fear that what’s happening on the page might not come across the way you intend it to the readers, or just a subject matter necessary to the narrative but that you don’t particularly enjoy touching on. Sometimes, scenes that are uncomfortable for us as writers just have to happen.
My Experience With Uncomfortable Scenes
The most jarring example of my dealing with this was my stage play “Behind Stone Masks”. Said play is a historical fiction set in World War II and tells the story of a German soldier who must protect his Jewish best friend from the rise of the Third Reich.
As you can imagine, with such a play, to make the story work, I had to include a scene where a group of Nazi soldiers are saying some pretty terrible things about Jewish people. I vehemently disagreed with everything the characters were saying and felt awful even trying to come up with the slurs for these characters to use. But the story wouldn’t have made the proper impact without that language, so I had to get it done.
What’s a writer to do when this kind of scenario rears its ugly head? Read on to find my advice on handling this when it crops up.
Five Ways to Handle Writing Uncomfortable Scenes in a Story
1. Create Distance; Remind Yourself That You Are Not Your Characters
One of the things that makes writing these scenes so hard is that writers have to, at least partially, insert themselves into the role of their characters to write a scene effectively. However, remember that your characters are NOT you, even though they may all have a small piece of you in them.
Frequent mental reminders of this can be quite helpful. That was how I got myself through the experience of writing the Nazi soldiers in “Behind Stone Masks”. I kept repeating to myself while writing those lines, “It’s not me saying it, it’s the character saying it. It’s not me saying it, it’s the character saying it.”
This is just one example of what you can do to help yourself. Find what works for you.
2. Take It As Slow As You Need To (Without Procrastinating)
When one has reached an uncomfortable scene in their work in progress, it can turn us off from the project for a while. Understandably, this can lead to us avoiding working on it.
This is okay, in moderation.
Obviously, writers tend to have things like deadlines and obligations to meet. But, when it comes to scenes of this nature, you need to permit yourself to take things as slowly as you need to. If you can only handle a couple of paragraphs of the scene today, that’s a couple more paragraphs than you had yesterday.
Just be careful to avoid letting this reduced pace translate into procrastination. It’s easy to let happen, so stay vigilant in that regard.
3. Have a Second Project in the Works
There are many good reasons to be working on two writing projects. You can always bust out the second project to work on as need be, when you need a break from the first.
If the going gets too tough, don’t hesitate to break out the back-burner project and pound away at that for a while. Writing is writing, regardless of what project you’re making progress with.
Take a break from your main work in progress. Get your creative mind flowing on something else. It might give you just the bit of comfortable distance and perspective you need to push through that uncomfortable scene when you come back in a day or two.
4. Read Something That Sparks Joy Afterward
Whether it’s funny, inspiring, uplifting, or something else, immersing yourself in a book that makes you feel good is the perfect counter. Nothing balances an uncomfortable scene like one that makes you feel cozy and warm, right?
I find the best time to do this is immediately after a writing session where I’ve been working on the scene in question.
5. Talk the Scene Over With the People Who Know You Best
Moments arise when you need reassurance that you’re still awesome, even if your characters are doing something less than. Talking the scene over with a friend or family member who knows your heart can help you be reminded of it.
Sometimes, all it takes to handle a difficult moment of writing is the reminder that we’re a good person who is loved, regardless of what might happen on the page.
In short, don’t be afraid to tap that emotional support system, writers. This is one of the reasons it’s there!
Uncomfortable Scenes Don’t Have to Derail You
A scene that makes you feel a little self-conscious may slow you down, but with the right tools at the ready it doesn’t have to derail your project. In the progress sense OR the enjoying it sense. Both, as we know, are essential to preserve.
I hope some of the above helps you. If you have other suggestions for how to deal with writing uncomfortable scenes, please feel free to share them in the comments!
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